FirMraz

My Rants

2010-11-18T21:57:00.003+08:00

This is call a blog for a fucking reason and that is to say what you want no matter what the consequences are.No matter how the senstive or painful the subject is,this is a place of zen for a person to let everything out and hopefully he or she will be a bit better once everything is translated onto a post.

I am in a mess right now and this is what I want to do now.POST something on this pathetic blog of mine and I don't give a damn what people think and happens next.I just want to blog.

Im no Mark Zuckerberg as potrayed in the Social Network.In that movie,while blogging the ugly truth about his ex-girlfriend and slightly tipsy,he went to create FaceMash and then went on to start up something called Facebook.Have you heard of it yet?Like they say what happens after that is history.What can I say?That guy is a genious.But..what a minute.Im not here to talk about Mark or anyone else.Im no genious even though I am onto my 2nd glass of Macallan.There is a similarity but unlike Mark,Im not goin to create anything that is out of this world but I just want to freaking post a blog.Period.

Am I a pathetic loser who keeps reminding myself of the past?Here I am consoling others to let go of the past and move on but in actual fact,Im a hypocrite.Here I am telling people that partying is the way to go in order to feel good about yourself but in actual fact,I hate parties and only attend if Im forced to go.Here I am telling people that doing irrational stuffs like suicide and excessive smoking will not cure the pain but in truth,Im drink myself to sleep.What the fuck is goin on with me?

I lied.I lied to alot of people.I lied to the people I hold dear and whenever I see them,it kills me that I am lying in front of their faces.Fuck me man.Why I lied you ask?Because I hate to see them worry about me.I have done enough of bothering them.Fullstop.Every once in a while when I see them,I have to put on my fucking poker face where in truth,Im swallowing everything to make sure I look "FINE" in front of them.Am I good?No!Not a chance in hell!I apologize guys.I really do.

What is becoming of me?Have I changed for the better or for the worse?There was a time ago where I stand by the rules and believe in good values kinda of thing because I was naive to think that by being a good person,nothing bad will happen to me and people could see through my kindness but I was proven WRONG!!!I was treated like some unwanted rubbish and I lost my pride,integrity and self confidence by being so STUPID!!!

People say that if a person has a wide forehead,he is bound to be smart.I have a wide forehead..I think but Im not smart but the reason of my wide forehead is due to the fact that I spent most of my thinking.Not thinking of the next bubble that could make me rich but thinking of the past and the unnecessary.How pathetic can that be right?No matter how hard I try to forget the past,the mind will project dozens of stuffs from the past.It's like tit for tat.One memory gone and then one menory in.Fucking ass.How can you move to the present and the future if you are still in the past?Tell me how coz I badly need a fucking sensible and proven advice!!!

Migraines.Headaches.Insomnia.Nothing unusual for me.I get that alot with that I think Im immune by it.Everytime the mind will keep swirling something toxic.It's so powerful that in most cases if not all,I didnt put up a fight against the toxic.I simply can't.The best way to handle that toxic is to overwork myself till the point that my whole body starts to shake and shouting for me to stop and if I stop,the toxic will be there again to incur more pain than ever.No remedies.No cures.NO HOPE.

Have I achieve anything yet?Im not sure about what the rest are judging but the stuffs that was awarded to me was just pure luck.Nothing extravagant.Nothing spectacular.It's all pure luck.The scholarships,the prizes was all luck.I couldnt done it without the support of my friends.Thanks guys.Like I said,Im not a genius.Im not smart.I don't have any talent at all.Im only lucky to be there and about.THAT'S IT.You coulld easily find someone who can outdo,outsmart and outlast me anytime and I MEAN ANYTIME,

Im on my 3rd glass of Macallan.Everytime when I am at my office,I look at myself and said this has got to end,the sooner the better.Easier said then done.Whenever someone goes into my office and tell me about their problems,flashbacks comes in an instant and that sucks because I couldn't control it.Sometimes,I just want to shut my office door and barred people from entering with their problems but I can't.I don't have the heart to reject them and at the end of the day,Im the victim.Not them but ME!!!

Am I being this way because Im lonely?It's been 2 years.2 years of obscurity.2 years and I can't swallow of what had happened.I told myself that I don't want to see her again but there is a slight itch that I want our past back to the present and the future.Y?I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA.It's just maybe I need a closure and without that closure,I don't think that toxic will just disappear from my body.Have I not been a good guy when we were together?Tell me!!!I shouldnt have convinced myself that you are the one and due to that,my conviction still stuck onto and the only way to unstuck is to know the truth.THE UGLY FACT!!!but till now,I've yet to know.

Not only I lied.I hurt people.I was so fucking scared to get hurt that due to my naiveness and carelessness,I am hurting the people around me.Suddenly I became a selfish son of a gun.Im not going to mention any names here but I know that you know that you're the one hurt and even though I know that apologies are the weakest excuse for me to say,I wana apologize to you for being the victim of the incompetence of handling myself.

All in all,I am a fucking loser with no sense of directions in life.Let me be by myself and in that way,I won't lie and I won't hurt anyone.After tommorow's meeting with Tracy,I wana be on my own and it's time for me to stop the endless bothering and disturbance to the people that I have caused.I think it's time for me to look at myself and say FUCKING STOP IT AND DO IT YOURSELF!!!It's me and me and me.Nobody else.

Im at my 4th Macallan and havinga terrible migraine now.My legs and my fingers are shaking but I don't give a damn because it's normal to me.Nothing is right with me now and in the near future.Im popping my pills now as we speak and hopefully in a couple of minutes,I will just lie face flat on my bed and have at least 6 hours of peace and freedom form the mind.

I know there will be some grammatical errors but like said earlier,this is what I want and I don't give a fucking care whether it's right or wrong as long my conscience is clear.

Hope to see you people soon.

FUCK MY LIFE!!!

Ku Shin Bo

2010-09-19T15:17:00.006+08:00

To put it bluntly,Im not a big fan of Japanese cuisine.In most cases,I dread of going to Japanese dinners as to me,there is nothing special to be worth salivating for in Japanese food.I can take an occasional sushi or two but I cant just cant stomach the sashimi's to the wasabi's as to me that's not culinary genious.Maybe Im bias here but a set of good knife skills and not doing any form of cooking except for the occasional deep-frying(Tempura) doesnt make a great chef.Not in my book.

However,my perception on Japanese cuisine slighlty change when I met Ku Shin Bo.A quiet tranquil restaurant that serves up Japanese food in buffet style.I could go on telling about this place but Im gona stop short here and just tell you of the must-eat dishes and leave the rest to you to experience yourself.

Of all the dishes which I really really enjoyed,I picked out two that stands out from me.

Dobinmushi is a soup based dish that is serve in a teapot.All you need to do is pour soup into a small cup and drink it like how you would do with tea.If you open the pot,it's filled with prawns,chicken and fish.It's taste is something like black chicken herbal soup but the ginger and ginseng(If my tastebuds is not failing me) elevates this soup and soothes you down.

Salmon sausage is not typically regarded as authentic Japanese delicacy but this is something that I've never tried before.I've had my fair share of sausage be it a bratwurst or the processed one but this salmon sausage is something to die for.It's simply soft and once you bite it,you can taste and feel the cheese oozing out from the sausage.Damn.

Even though I love those dishes,it doesnt mean that I am a fan of Japanese cuisine but who knows if there are more restaurants that serves up the dishes like how Ku Shin Boiis currently doing,instead of negativity,I may see positivity in Japanese cuisine.

Ku Shin Bo!!!

A Charmed Life

2010-09-12T14:29:00.003+08:00

I hate it when a person says that Im living a charmed life which I beg to differ."A well-respected job in national service that comes with a commendable salary.A scholarship holder with numerous future opportunities thats awaits you.A set of friends that will always be there if need be or just there whenever or wherever.If that is not living a charmed life,I have no idea what is!!!"She said.Before I could say another word,the person continued with this"Oops,there is more thing,if there is one thing that you lack,then it could be having someone,like a girlfriend but I don't think you need or start looking for one right now given the lifestyle you're having right now.Forget about Vis or whoever you're going out with now because I don't think you need an attachment in your life as I don't think she have what it takes to be beside your shadow right now at least."Fyi,this person Im talking about is happily engaged and marriage is on the cards this year and to think that she could be saying all those stuff,damn..WTH!!!

So am I living a charmed life?Is the world revolving around me?Let me answer that question,hmmx..HELL NO!!!

Personally,I think that there is alot in me that meets the eye.Unlike my peers who are carving a name in the industry,I have yet to find a job in the real cuthroat world as I need to serve time for at least another 11 months.So,I don't think I have achieve anything yet for now.A scholarship can only take you so far,so I dont think I deserve recognition for any success if having a career is concerned.

Yes,I do have a set of friends which I truly cherish and I've always said that no matter what I do,I know that I have a set of friends that I can always turn to them when I need them whether it's serious or casual.I keep saying this to you guys but thanx for everything.

Now,Jack wants me to have a girlfriend.Stance ask me to find a girlfriend.Some of the friends keeps telling me that it's ripe if I find one.The question is,should I have someone now?Hmmx,as far as Im concerned,my mind points out that Im ready to be committed towards a relationship as of now.I don't believe in fairy tales where all it takes is "I love you and it's happily ever after"I don't believe in it's perfectly alright if we don't have anything right now,we see how it goes and take it from there.I don't believe in love at first sight and soulmates.That is how pessimistic I am now towards this kind of thing but I believe that if you're equipped with the right credentials,then you will have someone there for you as love is getting materialistic by the minute.It's sad but it's true so you have to deal with it whether you like it or not.

I dont think I should be dwelling on this matter as If do that,it's going to do more damage than good so I think Im going to enjoy my "singlehood" while I can before someone else comes in to my life.I want that "Hangover" life where I can do anything and everything no matter what the consequences are.Some life if one could have right?As of now,Phuket Trip No 2 beckons and I can't wait for November and finally try all those watersports and previously I came at a time where there was an accident and was advised not to but now,Im packing up my trunks and wakeboarding skills and and for my ORD trip,it will be either Seoul Korea or Melbourne Australia!!!

Now,that's living a charmed life!!!

Inception Poker

2010-08-01T15:06:00.003+08:00

Inception.A movie that everyone is raving about.A plot or a story that requires the viewers fullest attention and set your minds to think about the reality of this life we are living in.So what is Inception all about?Well,Inception is to perform an act by using dreams to implant an idea to a target's mind but if you think the polt is simple,you have to watch the whole storyline to guess the true nature of this plot and that is...

If Inception is real.If what potrays is real,then are we living in a dream as of now?Are we living in a projected world that what our minds perceive it to be and somewhere someplace right now,we are are actually sleeping and dreaming?It can happen.It can be true.It is possible.Food for thought people.Inception is a Masterpiece.

Moving on to a less serious matter,maybe it's the IR fever but Im damn hook on the game of Poker man.Damn the friend that introduce and taught me the game as right now,I cant get enough of the game!!!It's risky,it's dangerous but it's worth the cause and anxiety when the cards are revealed.I know that gambling is not best of health that a person can have but Im playing for fun here and I won't be be a hardcore addict of the game.Trust me.Bet big,win big is what they say.

Im running out of time to blog a little more but I will catch up on it soon yeah?See ya bloggers!!!

I Need Inception!!!

Self-Check

2010-06-28T19:24:00.004+08:00

All it takes is just a cup of Iced Caramel Macchiato to set the thoughts rolling and roll it did.After satisfying my "retail therapy"urges by paying damages of around $200 to shops around Marina Square and Suntec City,I decided that I deserved my favorite cuppa and settled on the not so congested Starbucks Coffeehouse at One Fullerton and then...

Im not trying to sound "emotional" here but after sipping that refreshing Macchiato,I asked myself if Im happy with being the person that I am now and and truth be told,I couldnt find an answer to that.I just cant.

If education is concerned,I guess that Im doing alright and I never regretted coming to Shatec but if "money willing",I don't think I will stop with just a diploma as but hopefully a Bachelor's Degree with a university in Swiss,Australia or even here back home.That I have to wait after I served my time in National Service.

If National Service is concerned,even though Im not a big fan of having to serve the nation,I think Im doing just fine and try to enjoy myself since Im going to be in service for at least a year more but Im thrust upon to manage the financial funds and it's killing me but I will live through to as my objective of serving is O-R-D loh!!!

If social life is concerned,this is something that Im not too sure if I've done enough justice to make myself happy or disappoint myself.2 failed relationships.The latter being the distraught one.Not to forget,involved in a social fling that was heading nowhere up until it ended abruptly.

Is is just me or am I a jinx in this type of relationships?Everywhere I turned,I see myself crowded with friends who are happily attached,some engaged or even hitched and here I am now heading nowhere.Is it a curse or am I lacking self-belief if hitching with the other sex or am I just too picky in getting the one?Do I have that answer?To be honest,I don't have a freaking clue to answer that!Dont get me wrong,I have made tonnes of friends but sometimes,I just need that one person.

If I could find any possible reason,maybe I just couldnt engage or relate to the opposite sex.In some way or another,there will be a blip along the way and then the whole thing just went "Kaput".Just like that.

In all honesty,the only 2 girls that I could relate to or maybe can relate to me are the 2 ever iritating but supportive shorties,Trace and Stance.Haha.Im not too sure if they think if Im a close friend to them but as far as Im concerned,those two are the first two names I scroll through my phonebook if Im dealing with any problems or just bored.Don't get me wrong.Im not in love with them like emotionally.Hell no!!!Not only are they happily attached with their guys which Im happy for them but also I treat them like my own little sisters that I never had even though I wanna smack them on their heads when they iritate me!!!Haha.Btw Trace and Stance,Im not gay,Im straight you a holes!!!You will get me it from me soon.Haha.Hate you both!!!.Hahaha.

Im not really sure of where my life will turn but I hope it's pointing north but not south.Sometimes,it sucks to be what I am now but I will live through it.I kept thinking that there is another person who is far much worse than me and it helps when I think like that even though I know it's a bad thought to begin with but oh well.For now,I need to erase those past memories and tragedies first.I know that fairy tales won't happen in this world as Im a realist but I hope that one day,when I sit down again and sip my favourite Caramel Macchiato,I can proudly say"Hey,Im a happy guy now"

Just Take It By The Day!!!

Pictureless Post

2010-05-30T14:31:00.003+08:00

"The reason,the real reason,in fact the only reason of why we are here in this pathetic state is because of your ignorance of getting over your past.You will not admit this but you have not forgotten abt her or should I say Esther.You keep on saying that it's over,you've gotten over her but in actual fucking fact,you didnt.She still lingers in your goddamn "brilliant" mind.You still spare a thought for her.I hate to say this but you,Fi still loves her.

God knows when that will change.Im tired of this.Im tired of people asking about us and have no fucking answer to their questions.I have waited so long and I am done of giving you chance after chance hoping that one day,you will finally see of what is happening to us but I guess Im too naive and stubborn to think that way.You may not notice this,in fact you have not notice this but we have been like this since September 08 and now it's fucking 2010 and we are in the same status as we first started hanging out.Can you believe that?You want me wait somemore?

I know you've been hurt.Fuck,the whole world know you've been hurt but the whole world also know that you've changed.I know you've changed but not entirely.If you can change to being that quiet,naive guy that doesnt catches anyone attention to the havoc-wrecking Tony Starck guy that you think you are,I don't see of why is it so hard for you to change your perspective in relationships,most importantly love.

You are not the only one in the world who have gone through this.There are others like you but I believe they have gotten over it.I have gotten about my past.Now all I think are present and the future and I want to include you in both my present and future but that is not to me to decide now.If they have gotten about your past,if I have gotten over my fucking past,I dont see why you cant do the same?

Im not giving you anything anymore.All Im asking is that you take a look at yourself and think of what our relationship means to you.Most importantly,ask yourself whether you have totally gotten over Esther.If you think that Im not the sort of girl that you think you should be with compared to the one that I won't mention,I totally understand that.Once I leave here,don't call or leave me a msg because I wont call or return that msg and I don't want us to hangout for now.Im not waiting for an answer Fi.Im waiting for an action.It's your call boy.

Take good care of yourself in Brunei especially your knee.I fucking hate goodbyes but if this is it,than this is goodbye."

And then she left.This is the most I could remember of the things she told me that Saturday.Im lost for words now and I guess that is all I have to say.

Injured Couch Potato

2010-05-25T11:06:00.004+08:00

It looks like that my left knee with all the fibula(muscles for the norm) within it is the weakest part of my freaking body!!!Time and time again,it's that side of the knee that never fails to trouble me and now is no exception.An unexpected accident and booom!!!

Sometimes I wonder seriously if I should give up playing the sports that requires my knee co-ordination at it's optimum.Sometimes I really do wonder...

In all honesty,I did not reveal the full extend of my injuries to the masses as it would make them worry.From my family to my friends,they knew only to a certain extent of my injuries and that's about it.They have enough problems on their hands and I wouldnt want my injury to be a concern to them.Even when I was admitted to hospital,I barred anyone from visiting me as I do not want them to see me in this state.Not now.Not Ever.

Now,Im back to where I am in February.Being an injured couch potato and doing absolutely nothing purposeful and useful.I have no idea of my comeback date but I hope that it would be before Stance's birthday dinner as in a way,being the "A HOLE "that she is,I wouldnt want to miss it!!!Hahaha.

I think that is all I have to say about this post.After this,it's back to the television set,junkin on snacks and snore till cows come home.Damn,this is a fat boy mentality!!!

I Hate This!!!

That Awesome Trip

2010-05-14T22:52:00.004+08:00

Sawadeekap!!!Eeerh,is that how you spell it?Hmmx,anyway,I just wana let you folks know that Im back from the ever so sunny region of Phuket!!!

If I have it my way,I wouldnt want to go back home at all but I have to as Im not ready to be living the life of a fugitive!!!Not yet at least..Hahaha...

Simply,this Phuket trip is one of the best trips that I've had so far.I was so reluctant to go back home that I was leaping with joy when I heard that our flight was delayed by 2 hours!!!Crazy right?Maybe Stance and Trace beg to differ but for me,thank god the flight was delayed even though I have to stay at the airport but it is still in Phuket.Enough said!!!

Whoever says that Phuket is just about the beach,water sports and not shopping,they are either lying or they are just travelling goons or dummies!!!While Phuket do a beautiful scenic beach and great water sports activities,it can also be classified as a shopping heaven and being a shopaholic that I am,I committed tons of shopping sins out there and my loots are mega in size compared to the loots from Trace and Stance and mind you,they are ladies and I outdo them in shopping!!!My God!!!

Speaking of Trace and Stance,in all honesty,being the great friends they are,I have to thank them for this Phuket trip simply because they make this trip happen.Im just the guy who goes along with it(Sometimes iritating them with questions about the trip!!!)but they are the ones who plan it right from airline tickets to hotel reservations and they done it right to a T.So,THANK YOU TRACE & STANCE FOR THIS TRIP AND HELPING ME TO BARGAIN MY LOOTS!!!We should do this again but this time,I'll help with the itinery yeah?!?Hahaha.

Btw girls,Im still straight yeah?!?I like girls and I love girls and that is the bottomline because I said so!!!I know that both of you treat me a "girl"(I wonder why???) but Im a guy and Im straight.FULLSTOP!!!

With that being cleared in open air,I guess that this is it.Like I said,I never wanted to return back home.Im already missing the Fanta drinks,the street vendors that serve the ever so tasty chicken noodle soup,the char grilled chicken,the thai massages(It's the clean one btw) and of coz the tuk tuk tik tik tak tak!!!Hahaha..

My regrets was not going to the real Muay Thai fights and also taste their jumbo tiger king prawns but on the bright side,it gives me a reason of me going back there right?!?

Well,come to think of it,I could see myself staying there.Be a cable ski instructor by day on one hand and learn Muay Thai and fight by night on the other.Sounds like a plan don't you think???

I Need Another Trip!!!

That Weekend

2010-04-20T15:25:00.004+08:00

To be honest,Im practically clueless of posting a topic for my blog and that is somehow weird to me.I've always have a topic to post but not today my friends.Not today.You may blame it on the ever so dense forest air that I have to inhale daily when reporting for duty in which may cause my mind to stop thinking,let alone posting a topic.You may blame it on the lack of hours I spent at home that results in me not sitting down with my laptop and posting a topic on my blog.You may blame everthing that causes my lack of posts but since Im writing something here,I will try to squeeze something to this blog of mine!!!

Last weekend was my birthday weekend and the festivities started on a bit early than expected and it started on Thursday to be exact.As Im free for the day,cable-skiing was the first programme of the day.I was hell bent to enjoy myself and boy did I enjoy it.Flips,turns and not to mention splashing myself down to the waters but the waters really cools me down.If cable-skiiing is not enough,I was off to the Wavehouse next and it's bikini galore!!!Did I mention that I did some flowriding there but blame me for being sick and all but those Russian chicks at the Wavehouse was freakishly super hot!!!After that,Im off for drinks at Bikini Bar and I received some awesome presents at hand.Thnx you lot!!!

Friday was a much more quieter affair as my energy have been sapped out of me on Thursday and so I settle myself on dinner with Tracy and quickly fell in love with her...........niece.Haha.You should look at the pics that she shown me that day and damn,Rui En(Is this name right?I forgot about her christian name!!!) is damn cute.But I still prefer the Russian girls!!!After dinner,Im off for drinks again with my soccer mates at Timbre before sleeping my ass off.

Saturday was dinner and drinks at Timbre but this time unlike the Substation on Friday,it's at The Arts House.I bet the owners of Timbre are loving me right now given the revenue that Im generating for them!!!It was the first celebration with my NS mates and damn,it was a cool yet rowdy party.Booze and grub and not to mention laughter and joy makes the occasion a sight to remember.Again,It was presents and presents and again presents.I know that Im getting older but Im never too old for presents especially if I really do like it!!!The night is still young then and off we go to Clarke Quay and party ourselves hard at The Arena and show some greenhorns on what clubbing is all about.Haha.

Sunday was my birthday but it was a lazy day.I woke up to Garrett's call and it was I think 3pm and met with Zac and Trace to Zara for some exchanging of items.On a last minute scale,instead of Fish& Co,we then settle ourselves with tonnes of meats at Carnivore Chijmes and I hope Zac,Trace,Big G,Russ,Jacko and Carol do enjoy themselves munching on those irresistable delights.Coffee was next and we talked crap like old times till about 12am.No presents here but the gang that I had on the day is simply the presents that I was looking for.Guys,we need to hang out some time soon man.Haha.

Hmmx,that brought the end of a memorable and fun weekend.Im older now but I still feel that Im not as matured as I would like to be or what my friends think I am but nevertheless I had fun and throughly enjoyed it.Till next year then?Party on people!!!

Guess I do have a topic to post afterall!!!

Ligaments..Darn Hot Physio..What Matters...

2010-03-22T17:06:00.010+08:00

Hey there folks.It's been a month since my last post and I think it's time for a fresh new one straight hot from yours truly.That's if you're reading my posts.

So what's new for me?Hmmx,my knee ligament is responding well to the physiotherapy treatment that I've been attending and the Bangkok trip looks a certainty and not a possibility!For now at least.It also helps when the physiotherapist is god damn freaking hot as I would not miss any appointments!Haha.Is it me or the medicine world is fast becoming an attraction for the hot and voluptuous women?Talk about real porn here.Btw,Im not a "chi ko peh" like some filthy uncles out there.Im just seeing a trend here.Don't believe me?See it for yourselves then.

Since Im injured,I cant do anything but eat,sleep,watch tv,eat and then sleep.You can say that it's a routine that everyone is dying to have but you will regret it once you start to feel that you gain a couple of freaking pounds!Yes,I admit.I am getting FAT.I am losing my abs(Not bragging here!) by the day,getting very tired easily and sleep worse than the laziest pig on earth and as a result,I am a well-marbled guy.Haiz.It's frustating when you can't do anything about it!Haiz.

April is a month where my fellow DHM friends will end their year long enduring internship at their respectibe hotels and resorts.All I can say to them is "Congratulations" for having the patience,perseverance and dedication to intern for the past year in order to obtain the diploma certificate.You guys deserve the diploma and you guys should know that.So what's next for them?It's anyone guess.

Since I am in this "Shatec' topic,I feel that there is no better place to be than Shatec Institutes.I am saying not because Im sucking up but it's the fact.I believe that Shatec changed me as a person and made the person that I am today.In reference to that,Shatec means my mentor,my trainers,the staff,the janitor aunties and most importantly my friends.I will not change them for the world.

There is also one person that Ive yet to say "Thanks" too because I don't think she deserved it until now but she left a deep impact on me that in return I've changed to who I am now.That person is my ex-gf-Esther.I know that I will have some hate mails when her name is mention but it's fact that she left me a lasting impression that dare I say dramatically turn me 360.

If she had not done the despicable things that she did,I would be the same"follow the rules,on the ball,blur looking" guy and I would not have the courage to compete and won the various competiton that I've been in and I wouldnt be in posters,magazines,websites and on television.

Once again,I am not being boastful,over confident,snobbish,arrogant and a show off guys.I still know my roots and Im grateful for that.But it's a fact,that if she had not done those things,I would not be the person that I am today.So Esther if you're reading this,I still cant forgive you for the things that you did but I would like to say "Thank You" for making me the person that I am now.

With that being said,it's not entirely about Esther.This group or set of people was there and still am the driving force behind what I've achieved so far.

So here's a special thanks and appreciation to my Shatec mates: Vis,Kar,Trace,Stance,Nish,Sarah,Paul,Jack,Lest,Lynn,Garrett,Russ,Edmund,Dinesh,Isaac and Ah Quan!!!

If Rome Was Not Built By One Man

Then,I Will Not Be The Person I Am

Without The Support From You Guys

I Made It So Far

Because Of You Guys!!!

Couch Potato

2010-02-20T14:20:00.003+08:00

Since Im so called "Bedridden' for the time being thanx to the injury I've sustained during my training,Im stuck with being a couch potato for at least a month and practically,Im not doing anything that I can count as useful!!!Damn it!!!

With that being said,Im not complaning that much as the "God Of Television" have hooked me up with some rocking awesome shows that will keep occupied through the day.Thank You Mate!!!

Series such as Glee which is like a High School Musical remake keeps me glued to my TV set on Wednesday's.Unlike High School Musical,Glee has a much more substance to it and humorous in a way.Damn,I figure that if there is a showdown between the cast of Glee and the cast of High School Musical,there is no question that the cast of Glee will win hands down and make the likes of Zac Efron,Vanessa Hudgens cry their way out of the stage because they know that they are not as talented as THE ENTIRE CAST OF GLEE!!!.Nah,Im not going to tell you guys of what is Glee all about as I want you guys to watch it and I dare say that once you watch,you're surely hooked to Glee.Trust the couch potato here.

Another series that attracts me is our own local "The Pupil".It sets us into the law world and culture in Singapore and the story is about a young lawyer termed as a pupil(Do correct me If Im wrong guys)who is working for her uncle's law firm with a hidden agenda on the back of her mind.Alright,you can rave about Rebecca Lim's acting skills and so(Damn,she's hot aint she?) but to me as always Adrian Pang makes the show tick.Im no actor or a show critic but I know that when he acts,he displays a certain charisma and professionalism to his character that will turn a so-so show into a good show.Still not buying it?Watch the Blue Mansion.Enough said.

If I keep on babbling about series,shows or movies,I think my blog would be like a novel and so I'll stopped at these two awesome shows or series.Watch it!!!A Must See!!!

Regarding my injury,there is a slight improvement with my movement.I can walk slowly step by step without my crutches and this is a good sign but Im living by painkillers to ease the pain.I hope that by my next medical appointment,my muscles would heal back to it's normal self or I have to be under the knife for yet another surgery and the thoughts of going through the operating table is scaring the hell out of me.Damn it!!!God Of Health,do help me at this point man!!!

That's it for now folks.Hope you guys are having a rocking time outside and till then,Chaoz!!!

No Pain,No Gain!!!

What Is It That You Do?

2010-02-07T15:22:00.003+08:00

Have you ever been clueless about your life so far?Have you ever been in a daze of what is actually happening in your life?Have you ever been in a situation that you're totally speechless when people ask about how your life is spanning out so far?

Over the weekend,I was swapping the jungles of Pulau Tekong to the beaches of Batam Island for the much awaited Wakeboarding trip and boy oh boy,it was the most meaningful trip that I've had so far and Im not talking about wakeboarding.

After literally a day of endless wakeboarding, me and my mates decided to head to our favourite food stall to wind down and nevertheless fill our empty stomach with the best Nasi Padang that the Batam food scene has to offer.As usual and always,we were joking around and making a fool of ourselves,blurting unintelligent words to the camera,drinking loads and loads of Bintang's and asking our Auntie Kalsom for more dishes as we couldnt get enough of her home-cooked dishes.

Then,something interesting happens. As we wait for another round of Bintang's,a kid,a boy who is roughly around 7 years old and doubling up as a waiter came up and ask me"Mister,what is it that you do?"I was speechless.I was flabbergasted and the reason for me not able to answer him is not because of the influence of 5 bottles of Bintang's that I've had but simply because that I can't find an answer for him.Before I could utter a word back to him,maybe an unintelligent one,Auntie Kalthom called him and there he was,off leaving me with that intellectually deep question which remain unanswered.

I couldnt get over it.So does my friends.All of us were having our moment of reflection as we board the ferry back home.We couldnt find a true answer and were silent the whole time thinking and pondering about our own individual life.

As for me,Im in my 20's this year,23 to be exact but unlike most of my peers,I barely even think about what's next for me in the next 2 months furthermore 5 years?So Im not a planner but in a way a realist.I have forgotten about my past and Im not thinking of the future but the present.The present only.Life is short and we don't know of how long we're gonna live but as long as we are breathing,make sure we make the best of our lives.Be it in love,career or education,if you believe you have a shot,then shoot it.Times waits for no one and in all honesty,nice guys or girls do finish last.So make the best of your individual life because if you do,you will have a big fat smile for the rest of your life.Assurance guaranteed.

So here's my answer to the kid"Well kid,Im not really sure about what is it that I do but Im loving and enjoying the things that I do now."

What Is It That You Do?!?

The Monthly Dose

2010-01-29T23:16:00.003+08:00

Tik-Tok Tik Tok.Date Check:29 January 2010

At one moment I was wishing everyone "A Happy New Year" and the next moment it's the end of the month?At this speed rate,time really flies.

Life in service is getting busier and hectic by the day.I've always thought that National Service is all about the physical aspect but I was wrong.There seems to be a whole load of paperwork and emails to attend to and it keeps piling up everytime I book in into camp.Haiz.It's even worse than doing night audit at Sha Villa!!!On top of that,I still have to perform my primary duties like going to field camps,performing camp duties and other etc stuff.Im loving it..NOT!!!

Jack-Fyi,I can pick up any calls.You can't do that when you're just enlisted but once you're commissioned,picking up a call is at your own discretion.Haha.

Dear One,our paths are segregating by the day and in a way,I kinda expect that this will be the road that we will go through.My mates and that includes your former beau are trying their best to find themselves a partner but not me.To have a partner while you're in service is like an honour to them but is it really an honour?Im not too sure about that myself.Is it a must to have a partner now?That question is baffling through my mind as I'm typing down this post.

We had our differences but we also did share those happy moments and sometimes in camp,when Im in bed struggling to sleep,in a way,yeah,I admit that you're in my mind most often of times.Damn,my mind say no but my heart say yes.It doesnt help when certain parts or you body are not cohesive towards one another.I just don't want a repeat of another heart-wretching pain.Alright,I have to stop now before it gets worse.

If Im ready,will you be ready?

Thailand trip is around the corner?Eeerh,even though there is still 3 more months to go,I am being optimistic by saying that Im not far off from flying to Thailand and let loose.How I wish it could be tommorow.Shops selling FBT apparels,beware as Im coming to get them!!!Haha

We are just days away from February and I hope February will be an even better month than January and I hope to have a smooth sailing February ahead of me even though Im yet to have a Valentine.Haha.But that is not a problem that will lose me any sleep.

That is all the time I have for you folks,till then,Cheers!!!

P.S:Purchase the March cover of August magazine because your's truly is in one of the bulletin segments and do purchase it at any publishing stores near you!!!

I Hate Paperwork!!!

First Entry Of 2010

2010-01-17T12:40:00.004+08:00

Finally,I get the chance to post my first entry of the year!!!I know it's kind of belated but with the internet now a scarce resource in camp and the usual connection error that is taking ages to fix,I can't do much given that I spent most of my days in camp and not at home.How interesting my life is now!!!Haha...

First of all,Happy New Year 2010 to my fellow bloggers!!!Like I said before that it's kind of belated but at least a wish is a wish no matter how early or late it is.Haha.Hopefully,2010 will bring more parties for me to enjoy and extinguish all that sadness away from me!!!

I was at that infamous "Siloso Beach Party" and apart from the negative press,it was one heck of a party aite.It's not up there with the likes of Zoukout but it's still one heck of a party.Parties are held with the intention of enjoying the shit out of yourselves till you drop dead.The "Siloso Beach Party" is just like any other parties.In defence to the girl,I believe that just like everyone that is on the party,she was letting her hair down and that explains the way she dance like there is no tommorow.Yeah,she was creating attention alright but she was enjoying herself and doesnt in any way offend the people on hand.She has her own right so we have to respect that.

On the other hand though,She is a girl after all.With her creating that sort of attention,she was bound to attract those lustful cheap pathetic men.Many netizens says that she deserved it and although I tend to agree with them,I believe that it is not entirely her fault.Those men should be given the stick.These are the kind of people that is creating and potraying a negative impact on the nightlife party scene.

Another reason for this hoo-haa was because that it's a girl being taken advantaged off.Would it make the front page if it's a guy being taken advantaged off?I don't think so.I've seen scenes far more worse that this and Im resting my case now.

Enough about that and start thinking of the Bangkok trip.It sounds odd but I've never been to the land of the thousand smiles before and Im tempted to jump on the plane to Bangkok but the problem is that I can't give an answer due to my freaking service commitments.I hope that by this week I will give the answer to Stance or Trace and I hope it's a good answer as I've had enough of breathing and smelling jungle air and I want to swap that with the aroma of Tom Yam Goong,Beef Noodles and Papaya Salad!!!

Alright people,Im taking my leave now as I need to report back to camp.The best place that a guy can be now.See you folks!!!

Happy New Year 2010!!!

Friends

2009-12-27T16:33:00.003+08:00

Friends come and go but true friends will be there for endlessly regardless of any outcome.Am I right to say that?That term or sentence reflects everything you need to know about your friends and displays nothing but the truth.

I've had friends whom never fails to advice me whenever I needed help.I've had friends whom always tortures me with pranks,jokes and friendly insults but when the push comes to shove,they are the first ones that answers to my calling.I've had friends whom although attached,from time to time will squeeze some time to entertain me and hang out for old times sake.Now,that kind of friends are for keeps and you will regret it if you throw them away.

However,I've had friends whom when texting will say that they lost their phones and have no clue of who you are.I've had friends whom in public will turn on a blind face when happen to bump on each other.I've had friends whom does nothing but insults,complains and nags whenever you see them and in return sucks the enjoyment out of everything.I've had friends whom found new friends and leave their old friends in the lurge.I've had friends whom found someone and then choose to ignore and disband their friends to so called pay "full undivided"attention to that someone and will come back to their friends when they are alone or end up getting hurt or played.Now,are these type of friends for keeps?I'll leave that to your own judgement.

Like I said,friends do come and go and it's up to us to distinguish between a true friend and a one-time friend.

2010!!!

Rush Hour.Adrenalin.Pulse.White Flag.

2009-12-13T18:42:00.003+08:00

After the rush hour is over.After the adrenalin rush has stopped.After the pulse beats at a normal speed,nothing beats than slacking the day and blog about the events that happened throughout the week.So here it goes!!!

Cunt,I hope that our so called rivalry is over.Cunt,I hope that that our so-called animosity is over.I hope that after all is set and done,I hope that this thing is over.Im not usually the type of person whom admits defeat that easily but in this matter Im willing to raise that white flag admitting defeat to you.You win.I can't go on fighting with you over this matter as it will lead to complete waste of time and effort on my part.In addition to that,there is nothing much to fight for as the prize is not that attractive at all.You want her,you get her.You want her,you keep her.Take her for all the glory you crave.Im done with this episode.Period.To Jack & Stance,thank you for that words of encouragement that you guys have given me.To Venn,thank you for taking the day off to attend the ceremony.Thanks guys!!!

Now,let's forget the worries and try to enjoy what life has to offer for once.This is the time of the year that nothing beats than parties all day long!!!December is the month that you have to throw your thinking hat off and put on your party hat!!!What better way can you do to usher the new year than celebrating the final days of the year with a bang!!!Yeah,what a year it has been for me.Nothing too fanciful but nothing too meaningless as well.Haha.So right now,enough talk and more action,the countdown to 2010 have begun!!!

Yesterday was a blast.Enough said!!!To all those boys & girls,what a night yesterday was.We should keep doing it more frequently now!!!Haha.

Party Time Is On Now!!!

December 9

2009-12-06T13:05:00.004+08:00

December 9

Passing Out Parade

Im Nervous

She Will Be There
Should I Face Her?

Should I Avoid Her?

Is There Anything Left For Us?

Should I Listen To My Mind & My Friends?

That Is To Face Whatever Happens?

Im Not At A Losing End I Think

So I Don't Have To Be Scared Or Nervous

But That Dream Brought The Demons Of The Past Back

Arh!Fuck It.Treat It Like Any Other Normal Day

It Comes And It Goes

Face What Happens

This Shit Must End

Think Of The Festive Season Ahead

Think Of Everything That Is Nice

Think Positive

Till Then,I'll Wait

December 9

Passing Out Parade

Cunt

2009-11-24T18:57:00.003+08:00

You motherfucking cunt.You motherfucking piece of shit.You motherfucking asshole.Am I done with the vulgarites yet?Nah,this is far from being over!

Do you have any idea of who in the blue fuck are you?Do you have any idea of who you're talking to?C'mon dude,think for a minute of who you are?Hmm,I take that back because I don't think you can do it given the fucking brain that God given to you is more worthless than a recycled paper!

Just when I thought that all was set and buried,your motherfucking presence came and screw it all up again.Just my luck to be seeing your sorry ass.Wipe that smirk off your face because let's face it,as I told you,she's not worth fighting for.If she can do it to me,I don't any reason of why she can't do it to your pathetic dogshit face.You told me that she will be loyal to you?Yeah,you think so?In my point of view though,loyal as like a gf waiting endlessly for her bf?NOT A CHANCE but loyal like a dog?ABSOLUTELY YES!She is nothing to me other than a fucking dog.That's her favourite position rite?Good luck in licking man because it's rotten and you bloody well knows that you rotten carp!You think she will stay forever?Are you rich?Are you of any good to society?Are you doing well in your studies?Do you have a future?My guess is a 100% fucking NO!Because I know you and you are those typical guys who knows nothing but pretends to know everything in order for showboating.How can a guy who is lazy to work but loans money from his beloved gf achieve success?Tell me,where are your fucking dignity?Oops,Im sorry,you have NONE!

What you did to me was way out of line.I just cant find a reason of why I never throw that punch that I was craving for to you.Why can't I just punch?Is it because that I don't have the guts to hurt somebody or is it because that I actually think first of the consequences that followed if I have punched your retarded face?My colleagues told me that I was mature enough to walk away as some other guys would punch the bugger's face and deal with the troubles later.Am I mature enough or am I having cold feet?I can't tell that myself but all I know is that violence will not solve anything but causes everything.

You are not worth my fight.You are not worth my fist.You are worthless.You are useless.Because if you are useful,you will be in my position now.Because if you are worth anything,you will be giving our orders rather that following orders like a lost sick motherfucking puppy.You must be clear about this man.It doesnt mean that if you're messing with me,it's just me alone.Your actions have incurred that wrath of everybody man and I mean every single one.Now,after what you've done,it not just me who will be troubling you,there's more trouble to where that came from.Karma bites!

Like most views from my friends,she's not meant to be fighting for.I give up man.You want her?have her then!So stop bragging about your trophyless gf because I don't give a fuck.Look at M?That's one really good example of why I feel that Im wasting my time and effort fighting with you over that truant disloyal cunt.You think you could get M?This time dude,over my dead body.You did it once but you can't do it twice.Because she's worth and meant more to me that your cunning gf could ever be.Try me dude.Try me!

I could rant more but this is it.Enough talking and start doing some fucking options.Keeps your eyes open because you never know what's coming!

For those of you bloggers,be it my friends or whoever,Im sorry for those implicit words that I've used.Pardon my vulgarities.Am I complaining?Am I ranting about the past again you say?Am I immature?That is based on your judgement.Sometimes I feel it's better to let out this way.It's a blog rite?That is the purpose of the blog right?Allowing you to flow your emotions out?Friends like you guys I know will be there for me but sometimes I just cant disturb your peace as I know that you too might be having problems as well.

That is all for now.I won't be posting any pictures because this is a dark black post and any pictures that I post will be ruin by the words that I've used on this post.

I Have Nothing To Lose But You Have Everything To Lose!!!

Off To A Foreign Soil

2009-11-15T11:15:00.002+08:00

Finally,I have that precious spare time to update my "rustic" blog.I guess that with quite a schedule in front of me,I figure that I can only update one post per month with the time I've got.So here's the post for this month!!!

Barring any intervention like the H1N1 virus that spreading like crazy,Im off for an overseas trip.If you're thinking that I will be going for a hiatus,you're got that one wrong!!!Instead of fashion boutiques and gourmet restaurants,Im exchanging that for barracks and ration food.Instead of a holiday,Im exchanging that with training(It could be intense though).To add a pinch of salt to it,I will have to go through this plan for 1 solid month!!!

Now,for the positives.In a way,at last I have the chance to leave Changi Airport.Finally,I have the chance to breath that gush of fresh air with new surroundings and culture in a soil that is entirely different from home.Thank Lord for that.

With everything in check,I guess I can only now wait for my flight tommorow.I can only hope that it would be an enjoyable trip but you never know with this sort of training that Im gruelling myself into.Haha.So,that's all for now folks.I'll see you when I'll see you and that would be about a month!!!

God Bless!!!

Flash Forward

2009-10-18T12:37:00.002+08:00

What if you could forsee your future?

What if in 6 months,you could see your destiny?

What if in 6 months,you could see of what is going to happen to you?

What if the future that you saw ends up in a bad way?Can you stop that?

What is your Flash Forward?

The Future!!!

That Movie & Party

2009-10-03T10:46:00.007+08:00

Guess who's back?!?Haha.

Time check:10.48am

I can't find any reason of why am I awake this early on a Saturday morning but nevertheless,it's time for me to post an entry for the week.Rock on!!!

Well,Im still going through the same old shit day in and day out.Waking up at 5am,breakfast at 5.30am,morning excercise at 7.30am,physical training phase1 at 10am,lunch at 12.30pm,physical training phase 2 at 2pm,dinner at 7pm,debriefing at 8pm and finally lights out at 10.30pm and this cycle will go through the same way the following day.So yupe,that is pretty much of what I am doing for the past week and it's not going to change for at least the 2 months I think.

To add a slight kick of excitement to my present life,I went to watch Inglorious Basterds and I have to say that it could be the movie of the year so far.But a word of caution,Quentin Tarantino's movies are a league of it's own and unless you have watched any of his movies to date,you could hardly interpret the sketch of the movie.So,before you purchase that ticket for the Inglorious Basterds,rent some Quentin's movies such as Pulp Fiction to gear yourselves up for the Basterds.Inglorious Basterds displays dark humor all around it and the script is well-defined.It has a simple plot which makes it understandable for the crowd and the climax is way different from any "War" depicted movies.It's a joy to watch and with The Hangover,I rate this movie as one of 2009's best movies if not the best.

There is an invitation for an event at The Helipad awaiting my confirmation.With an aching body,I could not see myself hitting the club tonight but then again,to prevent any disappointment for Steph and also the birthday girl,I could drag my way to The Central at Clarke Quay.I hope the party will loosen up my aching joints as when there is a party,all hell's gonna break loose.Haha.

Sunday will be the day where I will kick out the adrenalin rush out of system after the party on Saturday.I can't be seen booking in with a F-up face and so I have to get that beauty sleep and rest.So Sunday will be a lazy but a fruitful day for me I hope barring any last minute hanging out sessions.

Aite folks.That is all the time Mr FirMraz have for this entry.In all honesty,my eyes are closing as Im writing this post and so I think it's time for me to take the bed.I'll catch up with you guys soon.In the meantime,keep smiling!!!

Life Is Too Short For Sadness & Dissapointments!!!

A New Life

2009-09-21T15:41:00.007+08:00

A new beginning.A new purpose.A new life.Well,it's not entirely a lifetime change..hmmx,it could be but no matter what I am entering a new phase in life.

Be it a lifetime or a temporary change,my guts could guess that I will learnt aplenty during the next two years of my life.6 days into the regime,I now could understand of the statement of "Boys Turning Into Men" truly meant.

Everything about you will be put to the test.Your mind.Your soul.Your body.You have to dug deep to push yourself to the limit and anything below that is not an option.Now,it's between you and yourself only.Trust me,you wil benefit from this.

The countdown towards the 14th of September 2011 have already begun and I am looking forward for what's in store during the next few days,the next months and the next 2 years of my life.It's gonna be a blast.

I will fight my way through and will never back down.

Fight & Never Back Down!!!

Turning Over A New Page

2009-09-13T13:31:00.003+08:00

This will be a freakishly super duper long post as there is so much things for me to pour out on this blog and so bear with me on this one but if you can't,then just move on to another blog or website.Don't worry,I won't bear any grudges or hard feelings if you decide to do the latter.And so,this freakishly super duper long post starts now..

These past two weeks had been a traumatic and disastrous one for me.Not to sound emotional or anything in that sort of manner,I am broken into pieces.I am broken into fine pieces.I didn't realise that I am this fragile up until now.It's freaking me up to the core and all I want is for this to be over.I cant feel any pain.It's just numbness that is filling me up and Im trying to have that sense of feel again.This is a black page in the chapter of my life and I want to turn over a new page.I will.I have to.I must.

Karma bites.Some may believe that it's a hoax but for me,Karma is alive and kicking ass.When Karma bites,it will only end in one way and chances are that it will not be the happiest of results.I couldn't believe myself of the things that you have done for me.I couldnt believe that suddenly Im seeing evil instead of goodness in you.Your hellish words makes me think if I should be even talking to you and hoping one day,life would be good again.The discrimination and hatred that I've gone through from your parents and even your grandparents were just put to waste and in vain.I was not given any chance to prove my worth but he was given aplenty even though I don't believe that he deserves it.I will not talk more about the both of you because if I do,many more pieces will break.You gave the word "EX" a whole different meaning.But then again,thank you very much for the memories that we had.Thank You.

Now,with nothing to lose,there will be only me,myself and I to take care of.As I trying to turn over from the black and rotten page into a much more fresher and clean one,I realise that I have to love myself above everything else.Some people might say that I've changed for the better while some say it's for the worst.I believe that I've changed for what it's best for me.My change from my point of view is only 90 degrees but I will change a whole 360 degrees in due time and my change will be of what I feel it's best for me.Period.I can't predict or foresee the future but I know that there will be a long list of things that awaits me and I can't wait to get my hands on those things.Life is too short to be unhappy,sad and angry.

National Service is just a day away.Actually in all honesty,Im looking forward to it.Im running away from it but instead Im running towards it.2 years serving the nation I hope will mature me as an individual and I want to make the best of any opportunity that will be given to me.2 years of serving the nation I hope will change my perpective in life and be a better person and I want to grab that chance.Many people say that National Service will turn one from a boy to a man and I hope that after 2 years,I can call myself a man.

There is nothing to be sad about when she is enjoying life out that guy.So,I've come to a conclusion that I have to enjoy of what life has to offer.Have an easy-going,nothing to lose and a simple attitude and I know that if I possess that,no amount of tribulation can defeat that.The world awaits Mr FirMraz to enjoy of what it offers and Mr FirMraz will oblige to it's command.Yeah.Rock On!!!

Here are the list of people that I believe should be given a special commendation for helping me in any form.That bunch of people who was there with me yesterday night.Now I realise that bowling is an alternative remedy to punching a person and it's good.Constance and Tracy for never stopping to give me words of encouragement even though they are either working or on medical leave.MH,for staying so late even though she have to report to work at 7am the next morning.SWT,for being my eyes and ears.If it wasn't for you,I wouldnt know the exact situation of this whole mess.I owe you one.And finally Dr C for treating me that Nasi Lemak at Changi at 5am for the pre-fast meal and accompanying me till day break.Thank you so much for everything and anything that you guys have done.

I guess it's time for me to end this ride.I've said of what is on my mind and in all honesty,I feel a bit better already.One step at a time.Slowly but surely.Alright,I'm taking my bow now and I hope that the next time I post,it will be something beautiful and amazing.Fingers crossed!!!

What A Life!!!

Heartless

2009-09-06T17:04:00.003+08:00

In the night I hear them talk
The coldest story ever told
Somewhere far along this road
He lost his soul
To a woman so heartless
How could you be so heartless?

Heartless!!!

Ultimatum?

2009-09-03T14:25:00.002+08:00

Alright.Do allow me to be emotional on this one.Whether you like it or not,Im going to post this entry.Whether you going to read it or not,Im going to post this entry.I don't think I give a hoot about it anymore.Haiz.

We've been through a hellish lot since July 2008(If Im not wrong).We've been through smiles and tears.(If Im not wrong).We've been through hot and cold(If Im not wrong).We've been through all that.Now you want to end it and throw all it away?!?

I've always thought that we agreed to be this way.I've always thought that we want to be this way.I've always thought that we have decided to be in this relationship of sorts.Didnt we?Now you want an ultimatum?

You may say that Im stubborn and stuff but I will stand by my stance.I can't commit now when everything seems so blurry and hazy.I can't come to a decision until I could see that light.I told you that time will play it's part and I could not see any rush in any decision since both of us have age by our side and goals in pursuit.Now,you want a decision?

You want an ultimatum?You want a decision?You want an answer?Im sorry but Im sticking by the usual.Now it's your to decide.You want to just let time play it's role and keep everything as it is or you want to throw away of all the things that we shared and goes through.

It's your time now.

It's Not Over!!!

The Date

2009-08-23T13:21:00.002+08:00

Tuesday.15th September.10.30am.Pulau Tekong.Mark that date and place because on that very date,day and location,Mr FirMraz will be reporting for his National Service.Yeah,you heard me right!I am going for National Service!

The enlistment date came a tad too soon from my point of view as of right now,I am left with approximately 3 weeks as a civilian before embarking on a 2 year period of serving the nation.Honestly,I am not mentally and physically prepared yet for enlistment date but I know that by hook or by crook,I have to be prepared in all manners for that big day.Even so,I am relieved that the letter came sooner rather than later because it ends the wait as enlistment to National Service was my major concern after graduating from Shatec.Thank God.

So,before I head to Pulau Tekong in about 3 weeks time,I want to have one last hurrah with all my friends.Jackson,Lester,Constance,Tracy and everyone in between,let's have dinner together one day.Ashraf,Prathap,Najip,Madeline,Louise,Vanessa,let's have a blast party one day.To Duckie,I am not really sure of where you are or if you want or keen,let's meet one day for dinner before I head for Tekong.I am keeping my fingers cross for your answer.Haha.To you,let's have a day without any phone call or any interruptions.I promise to switch off my phone.Haha.

So before the 15th of September do arrive on my doorstep,I vow to enjoy myself with anything that I could have my hands at.Wakeboarding.Shopping.Eating(It has to be after 7pm yeah?Fasting month!!!).Slacking.Skiving.Partying.That is all that I could think of my "What To Do List" but adjustments are bound to happen in due course.Haha.On top of that,I am free from work in any form(It has to be after the end of the month!!!).Yahoo!!!

Alrite,that is all for now.Catch up with you guys some time soon yeah as time is running out for me.Haha.Cheers guys!!!

Freedom!!!

Scandals.Flings.Affairs.Infidelity.

2009-08-19T13:39:00.003+08:00

Scandals.Flings.Affairs.Infidelity.What do these words mean or symbolise?Are you part of it?If so,why are doing this thing?

9 out of 10 couples said that those words mean negativity and betrayal.9 out of 10 couples said that those words symbolise a crime that is unforgivable.9 out of 10 couples said that Karma will soon bites back on those who are part of the philandering crusade.Im not selecting any sides but I believed when the couple that said that they are fine with scandals,flings and affairs or wat not are stupid and they will be eating their words sooner rather than later.

Humans in general can't be trusted.Be it a girl or a guy.Be it your brother or your sister.Be it your best friend or your enemy.Humans can't be trusted.So do not trust anyone except yourself.

Why am I putting trust on the forefront?Because in every relationship,trust holds the key to everything.But sadly to say,trust is a scarce resource.It's worth more than brick of gold or a carat of diamond.It's priceless but like I said earlier,it's very difficult to find trust.

I've seen first hand of the people whom are involved in this chaos and believe me that it doesn't have a good ending to it.100% foolproof.Trust me.Some people will become paranoid and end up gaining absolutely nothing and losing everything.The question is that why are people doing this even though they knew that it will not result in a good outcome?

Love?That is just bullshit to me.If love is the main concern,why would you still have a partner and then be going out with any guy or girl?If love is the main concern,why can't you just leave him or her alone to be with his partner if you know that loving a person doesnt necessarily mean that you have to be him or her.What matter most if you love him or her,all you want is for him or her to be happy no matter what.From what I've just said,correct me if Im wrong in any way.

Scandals.Flings.Affairs.Infidelity.Those words don't mean love.If you said that you are having a scandal or fling or a secret affair because you love him or her,I would say you have no idea what love means and you're talking a shitload of crap.

Fun?Yeah,that is more like it.Humans tend to break the rules and play with fire.Humans likes to have fun even if they know it's wrong.It's part of the nature.They wouldnt be any robberies,murderers and most importantly scandals,flings,secret affairs if humans follow the rules and stick by it.It does not mean that you have to sleep with him or her to constitute a scandal,if you're cheating on your partner then that contitutes secret affairs and what not.

People would then ask me if both of you are single but are having this close relationship,does it constitute scandal?My answer will be that is courting each other isn't it?Courting and having "illegal" relationships are two different things my friends.One is fine but the latter is non-excusable.

I think I've said my piece about this topic.Everything that is on my mind regarding this subject has been written on this post.Some of you may agree while others will think Im wrong.All of us are adults.We should be matured enough to know of the right and the wrong things to do.Don't you feel dirty if you are having a scandal or secret affair who do have a partner?Don't you have a sense of guilt of being the third party?

Karma Bites!!!

Fred

2009-08-17T11:48:00.000+08:00

His name is Fred.He is in his early 20's and have just graduated from a local university.Unlike most of his peers,getting a job was not on his top agenda.Obtaining answers and seeking the truth was pretty much his top priority as he slowly but gradually recovers from his painful past.

Fred,once had a happy life.He was doing well in school and was attached to a great girl,Anne(That is what he thought at first).Everything seems fine but then tragedy struck as Anne was seeing another guy behind his back.All his trust towards her vanished and he count himself as a stupid person for believing in her wholeheartedly.Within months of their inevitable breakup,she was attached with the guy.That's fast he thought.Stupid me.

Fred's direction in life have taken a sharp turn.What goes around,comes around he says.Karma will do it's job one day.Then came May.As alike with May,both she and Fred are varsity mates.May is the varsity's student designated photographer and both of them met in a photoshoot session.They have a lot in common and they were the talk of the town.Everyone thought it will be a matter of time that they will be hitch but then..

Fred was still in love with Anne.Even though he knows that Anne is attached and cheated on him,he continued to be there with her and doting her.Anne,as cunning as she is took advantage of the situation.When she needs someone,she would come to Fred,knowing that Fred will fall for her but when she's done,she would leave Fred hanging and leave him like a useless piece of trash.In a way,Anne would be having the best of both world.Damn,a heart couldn't get any darker than this.

May have had enough.She really likes Fred but she wants something out of their relationship.She wants Fred to forget all about Anne and just look towards their future but even though Fred promises that he will forget or have forgotten about the past,he still looks for Anne behind May's back.May thought that a decision has to be made and decided to have a talk with Fred.They talked but it ended with the worst circumstances ever.It was a heated argument but the final nail was when May called Anne a "B***H" and Fred,unaware of his own actions,slapped May hard.There was a moment of silence shortly after that before May walks off without a word being said and later text Fred with a message of "We are over.Im not coming back"

As he sat down on his couch,Fred is disgusted with himself.His life now have never been this bloody chaos.At one end,he was being played by a deceving person and on the other hand,he made a mess out his frienship with another person.Fred admits that he was the main cause of his own downfall but he thought that life has to go on no matter what.As the birds are chirping away,Fred continues to answer his doubts and continue to put the missing pieces into the jigsaw of his puzzled life.

Now,what is the moral of the story?

Silence Is The New Loud!!!

August

2009-08-03T12:00:00.006+08:00

It's a brand new day!It's a brand new month!It's time to recharge yourself up and start afresh!!!It's been awhile since I've last blogged and so Im making full use of my free time(Of which I crave so much for)to post an entry on my blog.This entry may drag a bit longer than my usual post and so bear with me yeah?Alright,here it goes.

Let's start of with a recap on the month of July shall we?To sum it all up,the month of July was cramped and filled with work and work and work.Did I mention work?Yupe.If Im not working for 789,I will be doing my academic report.If Im not doing my academic report,I will have to go to my wine course.If I am not going to my wine course,I will be somewhere out there attending meetings and discussing some stuffs with some suppliers or clients.I hope that explains of my limited postings on the month of July yeah.On top of that,I have yet to receive any enlistment letter from the National Service department!Come on guys,Im not getting any younger and I need to get this done and over with!Please!!!

I predict that August will pretty much be the same as July if not busier for Mr FirMraz.National Day is coming up within days and 789 is launching a party event on the 7th ,8th and the 9th of August and that only mean one thing,it's going to be hellish but there will be loads of fun!On top of that,Singapore's F1 Grand Prix is around the corner and so preparation is on the works not just on the circuit but also areas concerned like 789.Expect parties on a day in-day out basis when fast cars,hot babes lights up Singapore on that month.

Alright,let's stop talking about work shall we and focus on the lighter side of life.My month of August kicks off in the best way possible.Jackson cant stand if I say these words but Im sorry Jack,it doesnt happen that often to me and here it goes.WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS!!!Champions of?Im proud to say that we competed,defeated the very best and became undisputed Champions in the inagural Shatec street-soccer tournament that was on show last Saturday which was on the 1st of August.

The last time we competed for the tournament,we can only make it to the semi-finals due to the unlucky mistakes made by me and Lester but we redeemed ourselves by making it to the finals this time round and won the tournament via a penalty shootout.In all honesty,the win was a team effort in all ways.Frankly,even though I scored the first goal for the team to kickstart our ambition,I didnt have the best of form(Maybe,it is due to the lack of soccer time that I had)but the rest of my teammates was phenomenal in keeping our hopes alive.

Lester,pardon of mistakes, was rock steady in defence and was ever willing to be the goalkeeper on some occasions.

Benjamin,Lester's mate was our MVP(Most Valuable Player).He was our playmaker and he saved our team on most occasions if not all.

Justin gave it all and use his physical presence in good effect and he was our goalkeeper during the shooutout of which he saved the final shot that won us the tournament.

Nick was innovative and creative in many ways and he chipped in a few goals for the team.In fact,he scored the winning shot for our team during the shooutout.

Blue was unlucky to be playing a few games for the team due to some tactical decisions but when he did play,he gave it all and push himself about.He was also there cheering for us,destressing us with his jokes and he was the liveliest person on the team.

Dinesh to me was the unsung hero.Dinesh was unbelievable.He was our top scorer and he was awesome.He played extremely well and he scored some magnificent goals for the team.He did the finishing touches for us.

All in all,we deserve this championship the most.We are undefeated and was the team on form but the teams that we faced were also equally talented and they put us with a good fight and so I putting my hats off to them.Cherios guys!And so,no matter how talented we are in our won right,we pulled oursleves together,work as a unit and fight till the end and so that makes us CHAMPIONS!!!You guys deserve it.

Well,I believe that there is all for now.The month of August is still young and I hope(With fingers crossed)that this month will continue to keep me smiling and bring me all the good luck that I need.This month is truly a month that holds some significance to me and I hope to cherish this month.

You are a thing from the past.There is no use of me thinking of you in the present or the future.

Cheers To August!!!

Dear Duckie

2009-07-17T11:30:00.004+08:00

Dear Duckie,

This entry is specifically posted with you in mind and I hope that you will be able to read it.So,do take a moment and read this post that is meant for you.

You are my friend.A special friend.There is no question about that.After the incidents that had occured to me about exactly a year ago,I told myself that I will cherish my friends and stand by their side no matter what the consequences or the circumstances and I know that should everything fails,my friends will be there for me.Im your friend and Im here for you.You don't have to doubt that.

In a way,even though we never managed to catch up with each other physically,we overcome that barrier by calling or messaging each other and there isn't any time that we are bored with each other,to me at least.In a way,you're open to letting out your problems to me and vice versa and we never fail to seek solutions to our problems.I thank you for that.

For the past few days,I have never seen you so uptight and emotionally hurt.I can see that the problem that you're having is taking its toll on you and you're at a point of being in a lost state.But,all is clear now after you patch up things with him.You told me if Im angry.You told me if Im disappointed.My answer?Im not angry with you.Period.Why should I?Why should I be angry when you're happy?That doesn't add up does it?Am I disappointed?I have to agree that a part of me is disappointed with the outcome.Why,you may ask?To me,a lady like you deserve someone better.After what you have said to me,I could see that the negative outweighs the positive and that is not a good thing for a guy to have.But,that is my point of you.I can see that you love him above everything else judging that you're confident that he will change for you.I can see that you love him above everything else that you do not want to break up and leave him and this is the first time Im hearing you said about a guy.So,from what I've figured,I can see that this guy meant alot to you,you're willing to wait for him no matter what and most importantly,you really love this guy with all your heart.

Once again,this is just from my point of view.Maybe,in a way,you could see some goodness in him that we miss.Maybe,in a way,you could see some positive sides of him that we could not but no matter what the outcome is,it's your decision and if you're happy,Im happy for you and that is important.

Im happy for you duckie,Im really am.I could see the cheerfulness from your voice again and I hope it will last for as long as it could.

Friends will be there for you in times of happiness and sadness.You remember that.

Friends!!!

Maturity..Future..Success

2009-07-12T18:48:00.006+08:00

In reference with an entry posted on Jack's blog,I've decided to back up if not add on further details on his theory about being successful and our future.

Some people will say that maturity comes with age.The more older we are,the more mature we become.To me however,it's how much you're exposed to the real world that matures you even though I agree that age do play a part in maturing you as well.

Now,you may ask me that in what way will maturity be of any relevance with a person's future and his or her success?Here's my answer.

As we grew up,we tend to set goals for ourselves and our paths generally tends to be different from other people.

Now,tell me when you're 17,have you ever think of working and building a career?I doubt that as when you're at that age,you're either thinking of applying for a bike or car license,getting into a relationship and other pre-adult stuff.When you're 21 or older,does the thought of building a career and being a successful person comes to mind?I bet it does.Without you noticing it,maturity plays a part in those examples that I have given to you.

I've seen friends whom place love and relationship above everything else whereas there are other friends whom sacrifice love in pursuit of a career and education.I can't point out of who is on the right or wrong path as I've said that different people set different goals for themselves.

All I can say is that all of us wants a life that is meaningful and full of smiles.We all want a happy life and from my point of view,the only way we could achieve that is to become successful.We are living in a world where money rule and talk and nothing else matters and the only way for us to achieve that is to build a career that will result with success.Love can only get you so far.Jack told me this and I agree with him completely.You can try and have the best of both worlds but it's something that many people have tried and failed and that list includes me!

For now,amid the global recession with an age that will not be any younger,we should be thinking of what the future holds for us in the next 3 or 5 years rather than 3 or 5 weeks and in way what will we be able to build a career that defines our future.

Live Free And Rock Hard!!!

Fight Is On

2009-06-30T00:41:00.004+08:00

I don't care about what time is it.I don't care about what time Im suppose to wake up tommorow.I don't care about my split or shift shift.All I freaking care is blog an entry for an asshole.A stupid piece of trash.

The reason Im working is not just about getting paid.Im working for experience and exposure.Im working to build a network that will help me in the future.Im more than willing to lower my head down and listen to what people are teaching me as I feel that I will learn more that way but please don't treat me like a stupid idiot.C'mon,it doesnt matter about where you come from or what car you're driving or whatever shit that you claimed you have,what matters is that you have to prove your worth to back ur shit up or stop talking crap and shut the hell up!!!

I can freaking carry a tray and communicate to a guest.Im not bragging here but please read my resume you asshole.I came from a fine-dining background and the restaurants that I have worked are the pinnacle of all fine-dining restaurants.I have competed and won competitions.What about you?Banqueting?That's just shit.I know the art of service more than you freaking do.I can deal with customers without any fuss and I can set a table to perfection without your primary 1 type of tutorial bitch!!!

Again,please read my resume.Knowledge is an everlasting journey but I guarantee you that I know about wines and spirits more than you can ever imagine.Please stop giving me the"Shit,he's gonna screw things up" look when Im de-corking or decanting a wine.I know of what Im doing.You don't even know that the grapes that makes Champagne and Bordeaux red wines and you're telling people that you are actually teaching me wine knowledge?!?You're challenging me by saying that you can blind taste wine and spirits without any mistakes?You're "ON" freak show.I'll show you who is your master.You keep on telling people that the certificates that I've won and had are just merely pieces of paper?Let me tell you something my friend.When it come to the real show or challenge,you cant even hold my candle!!!Look at the wines sales?Mr FirMraz:$1500.Mr *:$250.Tell you something dude,I just started work a month ago.You?Since opening?You do the math!!!

I could go on and on and on but my eyes are telling me to stop and I won't torture them any further.But just to let you know that Im not done yet and it's far from being over.

Freak Show!!!

Back From Hiatus

2009-06-23T17:14:00.004+08:00

If you're thinking that Im ditching my blog for whatever reason that is on your mind,Im afraid that you're wrong.Im not closing down or leaving this blog to rot in any shape or form.The reason of this hiatus from blogging all comes down to a lack of time commitments.Let me explain why.

Im splitting myself between 2 different jobs now.Sounds crazy?Maybe to the neutrals but to me,it's an experience.The reason for my actions is not due to any money shortages but to challenge myself.It may sound stupid to many but life is short and I want to make the best out of anything that I have now as I do not want to live a life in regret and dissapointments.It's draining and tiring but at the end of the day,you know that you are doing something that you love and enjoy and that is what Im going through right now.It's fun and thrilling!!!

So what am I working as?Well,during the day,Im just your normal waiter cum sommelier in a restaurant at the Esplanade but when the early hours kicks in,Im your bartender of the night at a club in The Central at Clarke Quay.Sounds good to you?Haha.

Business on both sides of my workplace have turn from bad to worse due to H1N1 virus and this epidemic have struck a friend of mine(not literally but suspected).She was clubbing at this club(as always!!!)and apparently a guy who was infected by the virus was in the same club as her!!!Now,she has to stay at home and rot.I wanted to visit her but she told me that it would be best if she avoid any contact with anyone throughout her quarantine period.At least,innovations like sms and msn keeps us in contact.Thank god.

Alrite folks,it's time for me to go.I'll catch up with a new post some time soon.

Life Is Good!!!Is It?

Dilemma

2009-06-10T15:08:00.007+08:00

It looks like Im hitting the books once again.Yeah,you heard me,Im going back to school!!!In case you're wondering if Im going for the HDHM programme,well,Im not.Im going for a wine enhancement course that will span across for 4 months.That should keep occupied till I receive my enlistment letter.Haha.

Now,lies the problem.I've only been working for a week at 7atenine and now I have to tell my manager that I am not able to commit fulltime for the next 4 months.This sucks.I have never worked in a better working environment than 7atenine.This place rocks to the core man.The place,atmosphere,people and even the staff meal is all good.If only the shifts can be forgiving at times,I would rate this place as a near-perfect working environment!!!.

Back to the problem.Now,I have to tell my manager that I need to switch to part-time starting from next month onwards and this is tough news to break because you have no idea how tremendously nice this manager is.He gave me a chance to work when others rejected me due to my enlistment and now I have to tell him this.Shit.All I can think that will benefit both parties if the company allows me to switch to part time.If that is possible,I would be able to work before or after my class starts.It's the best win-win situation that I can think of.Friday would be decision day.Let's hope that Friday will be a good day.

Miss

2009-06-09T09:42:00.005+08:00

I miss home...(This is very suprising to me!!!)
I miss my bed...(It's a touch and go thing now!!!)
I miss using my laptop...(The last time I used it was a week ago!!!)
I miss my mum's cooking...(Been eating staff meal all day long!!!)
I miss my going out buddies...(Damn,have not seen them since..eerh..can't remember!!!)
I miss my tv shows(Can't remember the last time I turned on the tv set!!!)
I miss wakeboarding...(I have to bail out on Sarah everytime she ask as Im not free!!!)
I miss soccer...(Without soccer,life is that boring!!!)
I miss my late nights...(If you're working split shift everyday,home is your choice destination!!!)
I miss M...(Am I now?No regrets now my man!!!)

God,Do Help!!!

Shatec Promo

2009-05-29T13:50:00.004+08:00

Les Amis

2009-05-29T13:36:00.012+08:00

Enemies

2009-05-29T12:54:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I cant help but to ponder and wonder of who my enemies are.Why do we regard them as enemies?What did they do that causes hatred between us and them?What?Who?Why?Where?When?

Personally I feel that we are our own enemies.We are the bad guys.We are the villians without us knowing about it.We create our enemies but then placed that tag to a person or a thing.Think about it.It's true.

Take me as an example,I didn't realise that my past is my enemy up until now.I created my past myself but now my past is getting the better of me in almost every decision that I made.The reason behind this is that I can't afford to be making the same mistake over again.And because of my irrational perspective,Im hurting a person if not people and I don't wish for that because the person or people that I hurt are the ones that I truly care and I can't help but feel a sense of guilt in me.No amount of apologies could turn back time and pretend that nothing had happened.

I guess.No,I vow that the past is the long gone and even though the history will be with me to my grave,I will not that affect my decisions be it for now and the future.I cant afford to be living in a life full or regrets and guilt.I don't want the people in my past who have hurt me to laugh their socks off due to my failure.

If I have to tag a person as my enemy then it has to be one person and one person only.She left me drowning and watch me rot like a carcass.She lied and never fail to embarrass me.She comes when she is in need and throws me when she is done with me.Damn,I couldnt find a person who has a darker soul then her.She thinks that my world revolves around her and that is just utterly rubbish.

Enough talking about that freak.Let's pursue happiness in our lives and don't turn back because as they say it's history.

Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life!!!

You

2009-05-28T11:39:00.005+08:00

You want another story between us.You want another chapter between us.You want another tale between us that will last a lifetime.You want us.

Do you really want that?Im not a pessimist but neither am I an optimist.Im not being thinking a tad too much nor am I being selfish but if we are one,would you accept the things that Im going to do now and in the future?We both don't regularly see eye to eye with our goals in life and that is what Im putting on the table for you to think and decide.Can we come to terms with that?

I hope that Im not being harsh here but if we are one,I don't really want to see any complications between us any further.I don't want words to be put into our mouths.I just don't want to be making a mistake that will cost us our friendship.

Without a shadow of a doubt,I truly enjoy your company.The things that we've done are truly sensational and loads of fun.I hope that that enjoyment could continue as well.

I have had my say.It's now come to the point of an ultimatum.Think thoroughly and then decide but then focus first on your schoolwork and take care of your health.It's more important.

I'll Wait!!!

P.S:The post without a picture.

Liverpool In Asia

2009-05-22T16:15:00.003+08:00

Ladies & Gentleman.Boys & Girls.Children of all ages.My dear bloggers.I would like to tell you that Mr FirMraz will be one of those hardcore fanatic Liverpool fans that will be crowding the National Stadium on the 26th of July 2009!!!.

It's an event that I would not miss for the world.Not even "you" will stop me from attending this event.Im such an asshole right?Haha.I have been saving my allowance the moment it was announced that the team are coming here and now Im feeling a sense of satisfaction.Mind you,I have been saving for this event since January and if you know me,you will know that Im a well certified professional spendtrift!!!That is an achievement man.Haha.

Unfortunately,I couldnt get the east(Kop End) gallery even though Im like the 7th person in line(I went there quite early man!!!) and I have to settle in the south gallery which is not that bad afterall as it is located at the central part of the stadium.You lose some,you win some.I feel bad for Tracy as she need to wait in line with me to buy those tickets even though she need to work.Trace,I owe you big time!!!This sounds stupid and pathetic to the neutral one but I cant wait for the tune of "You'll Never Walk Alone" to be aired before the kickoff.Im sure that I will have goosebumps and butterflies on my stomach that day even though Im not the one playing!!!

Since we on the topic,injury free wise,there is a high possibility that my cousin who is on the Singapore national team will be playing against the Liverpool team.Shit!!!.Now,Im divided into two halves.Singapore or Liverpool?To save the trouble,I will be supporting both teams.I want to be have the best of both world!!!.Nevertheless,my cousin is looking forward to facing Liverpool as he is a Man Utd fan.Such a loser.Haha.

Ok.See you on the 26th of July then.

You'll Never Walk Alone!!!

Success

2009-05-19T12:21:00.003+08:00

Every now and then,we noticed,read and heard stories of individuals who overcome the odds and became succesful.A fairy tale story to some while inspirational to many,these set of people set out the tone of being successful.So,what institutes success?

Motivation-You need something to motivate you to achieve your goals.A source of motivation?DISCRIMINATION BY OTHERS!!!.You cant do anything because you are stupid!You are too short and too small to be somebody!You cant achieve anything because of your race and religion!Look at you,you're a disgrace to mankind!To prove your critics wrong not only made you achieve a sense of ecstasy from your success but also made them look stupid and pathetic!!!

Never Give Up-If you fail in your first hurdle,don't give up.If you give up,then failure will come to mind.If you're thinking of giving up,take some time and think of your critics.If you fail,you are giving victory to them and not to mention disappoint the people that supports you and most importantly yourself.Do you want that to happen?I have my say.Every failure is an opportunity for you to rise!!!

Positive Outlook-If you're not optimistic,then you have lost half of the battle.Motivation and never give up will get you nowhere if you are not positive.Being positive oozes confidence and passion and you need both of these qualities without a shadow of a doubt.Always wake up with a smile and prepare yourself to face the hostilities with a positive mind!!!

Did I mention that you also need to have luck?Good that is.

Success Comes With Determination And Patience!!!

Im Back

2009-05-14T11:46:00.003+08:00

It's been a while since I've post an entry on my blog but Im back better than ever!!!Or is it?

For the past few weeks,I've been away on an overseas trip attending a wedding,wrecked my hand due to person's negligence and the other side of my life has turn for the worse.So many things happen in so little time.Not to mention that I've lost my will to blog.

Staying and slacking at home will the last thing that I want to do right now as Im tired and sick of slouching like useless puck at home doing absolutely nothing!!!Suddenly,I have become my mom's favourite child as I have been doing all the housework chores at home.From,buying groceries to watering the plants,you name it,I've done it.

I hope I'll get a job soon.Please no more bars,clubs,restaurants or anything to do with F&B.Im not choosy but I want to get off F&B off my back for now.

You are seeing another person.If Im entirely fine by it,I am lying but there are no strings attached between us and I figure that it's best for the both of us to be in this way.Have we come to the final chapter or is there a new chapter install for us?Let time decides our fate.

It Takes Two Hands To Clap!!!

It's All Set And Done

2009-05-03T15:04:00.002+08:00

I cant put this in any way possible but finally I can breathe a sense of relief.A sense of relief that we are able to put the past behind us.A sense of relief that the cold war was over and now,we are on talking terms again.Yes,it is a relief.

Putting all the anxiety aside,Im glad in a way that we are able to trash things out.What leaves me wondering is how much you know about me but on the other hand,Im always guessing your next move.Girl instincts?Maybe.

As of right now,we both know where we stand between us.We both know our priorities and recognize our mistakes.In conclusion,all are being said and there is nothing that we are hiding from each other.

If only we could do this earlier but the past is the past.Let's not scrutinize it further.

What A Relief!!!

Just A Person

2009-05-03T14:19:00.003+08:00

You have broken the record of being 1st on my shitlist.Congratulations to you!!!You deserved it.Your award winning prize?After my deliberation,the best prize that Im going to award you is Karma!!!No,not that sexual Karma Sutra that you love doing with that asshole of yours,the Karma that Im talking about is a"What goes around comes around"package.You are one "lucky" person because the package will hit you sooner than you expect.You will love the prize,trust me.

When help is needed,Im the one whom you look for.When help is needed,Im always the one that stand by you.When help is needed,Im all ears listening to your problem and give everything to make sure that you pull through during that difficult time.When it's all set and done,Im just a useless piece of junk to you.A dirt.Maybe even worse than that.In all honesty,I deserved it.

I cant find any solid reason of my actions except thinking Im one stupid and foolish son of a gun.So stupid that I keep repeating the same mistakes even though I know that I will get hurt in the end.I just cant believe that Im that stupid and foolish.Haiz.

What you did have taken it's toll.I do have my limits and it's pushing me the maximum level.I cant afford to waste my time,effort and energy to someone who doesnt give a damn about me.You keep thinking that I can't survive without you.You keep thinking that you are the great one.You keep thinking that I badly wants you.Timecheck,I can survive on my own without you in the picture.In fact,with you in the picture,it does more damage than beauty.

So as of right now,I will give you the space that you invade.Get all the space you want,the wider and further,the better.I will lift off the pressure that you claimed Ive given you.Get on and do your things.Sayonara my "dear" one.Yeah right.

I cant believe that you are doing all these things to me.I cant believe that because of you,I hurt someone but come to think of it,you are capable of doing everything in order for your own satisfaction.An example?Leaving the best person that you will never ever had in order for some bogus,fake and cheatful reasons.

Friends?You're just a person.

Au Revoir!!!

If Today Was Your Last Day

2009-05-03T14:15:00.002+08:00

What if today will be the last time you will be living in this world?What if today will be the last time you be able to see the beauty of this world?What if today was your last day?What will you do?

Written by Chad Kroeger,this song that he wrote left me wondering about the essentials of life.It puts me in a zone that reminds me of the past and hopes of the future.All in all,this song got me thinking.

I believe that each day is a gift and not a right that you're entitled to.I believe of not to leave any stone unturned and leave my fears behind.I believe that life is today and tommorow but not yesterday.I believe that our life is worth fighting for no matter how dangerous and big the risks are.

What if the dream girl confesses to you on your last day?What if you're falling in love on your last day?What if the things that you dreamt are happening on your last day?Will you forgive your enemies on your last day?Will you rectify the mistakes that you've done in the past?Will you savour the moment or just let time decides your fate?

If today was your last day,what will you do?

Love Yourself!!!

Careless Whisper

2009-04-27T15:01:00.007+08:00

In my life,I don't force people to do things for me.In my life,I don't expect people to hand a silver platter to me.In my life,I dont beg from people.Not financialy and certainly not emotionally.What you said hurt me freaking much and even though on the outside I pretend that it's just a remark from you,inside it's burning with pain and disappointment.I don't expect someone like you whom I regard as one that I care the most could say that.Have I said hurtful words to you before?Is it a payback?Questions remain unanswered.

Live Another Day!!!

Deep End

2009-04-25T19:47:00.006+08:00

Where It All Began..Sparks Began To Fly

15/2/09

As of right now,both of us are enthrust into a situation that should anything occur,it could make or break the thing that we are having right now.In all honesty,we are in a deep,precarious,fragile and sensitive state that there is no turning back from the both of us.I should've put an end when I do have the chance earlier but I didn't because simply I enjoy the things we've done and your companionship.Now,it's too late.One wrong decision,incident or situation could end up either one of us being hurt if not both.It's fine if Im the one hurt as Im used to all those dissapointments and mistrust but seeing you hurt will the last thing that I want to see.I cant bear to see your tears and seeing you in a somber mood.I cant bear to see that and I don't want to see that happen.

You've been telling me that things are fine but in truth it's not.You've been telling that you're fine but actually I can sense that you're hiding your unhappiness.I just want to see that smile and laughter from you again.

Bottomline,I Don't Want You To Get Hurt!!!

Freedom

2009-04-23T13:40:00.000+08:00

Couples Tied Down

2009-04-23T11:55:00.005+08:00

Now,is it just me or that couples in this modern world are being tied down like prisoners?Now,is it just me or that couples in this modern world surrender their passports of freedom?Now,is it just me or there is more than just meets the eye?Well,this brings us to the post of the day.

"Hey,I can't make it today.My boyfriend and I are going out today."To me,I find that acceptable.When you're attached,it's perfectly normal that you and your partner share some time hanging out with each other.Isnt that what couples are supposed to do?Haha."Hey,please don't call me or msg me or send anything to my mail.Im scared that my boyfriend will check."To me ,this will be the part that I feel couples are being tied down,treated like prisoners and their freedom being taken away from them.This part iritates and in a way pisses me off.IT'S JUST A BLOODY MSG OR MAIL OR CALL!!!THERE IS NO HARM IN THAT!!!

So,is it safe for me to say that once you're attached,you have to give up everything.Like your mail password ranging from hotmail,yahoo,blogspot?Like your friends,hobbies and lifestyle?Even on networking site facebook or friendster,do you have to consult your other half about who can you accept as a friend and whom you're allowed to put a comment or whatever not?Read the below words carefully.

WAKE UP YOUR BLOODY IDEA!!!WHY ARE YOU SELLING YOUR SOUL AND GIVING UP EVERYTHING?

Listen here my fellow bloggers.Im not asking you not to give everything up but what happen to compromise and accomodate?What happen to giving and taking?What happen to fair play?You are cramping your space and you will feel that it's fine now but in the long run,it's gonna eat you up.This is where most couples fall apart as when their freedom have been sucked out of them,frustation,fights and break-ups will happen.You need to have trust if you want this thing to work.Please take back some of your freedom if you love yourself and most importantly your relationship.

But do not trust a person completely.I've trusted people and guess what Ive get from them?Dissapointments and a victim of deception.Did I mention dissapointments?

Get Your Freedom Back!!!

The Weather

2009-04-21T11:18:00.003+08:00

I think that 2009 is going to be a hellish year for us.First,there was the economic downturn then comes the food poisoning saga and now I think will be the bloody weather.The weather have been atrocious so far and personally it's not going to change any further.

Have you ever came out of a nice,cool shower only to find out that you're perspiring the next minute?Do you know how uncomfortable and iritating you can get?That is what I get everytime,each day for as long as I can remember.When Im dressing up,the sweat I accumulate is the same as after running a marathon.Im not exaggerating here but it's true.The sweat doesnt end there.You will keep on perspiring up until you're inside an air-conditioned room but once you're out in the open,the sweat will come again.Damn.

Even though I know the Singapore is located near the equator hence our tropical climate,the weather recently has rise up to a whole new level.The people are now feeling the heat and not just because of the economic downturn but also the weather.All we have to do now is to brace ourselves in these difficult and heated times.

God Help Us!!!

Lighter Side Of You

2009-04-20T10:48:00.003+08:00

I have finally seen the lighter side of you.The side that makes me wonder about our current situation.It's still early days yet but in a way,I figure that our bond have grown deeper as the days past by and there is no turning back.We'll see how the future holds for us but until that,I am enjoying myself.

P.S:This is not an emotional sad post!!!

Scenes From The MRT

2009-04-16T13:23:00.004+08:00

Imagine yourself in the MRT.It's a bit packed with fellow commuters and all the seats were taken.Then,a seated commuter got up from his seat and exit at a stop and now one seat is vacant.My question is,what will you do?Will you hustle your way to the seat and will you allow oher commuters to take up that seat?My bet will be that you will hustle and push your way to the seat because we are brought up in the KIASU way!!!

Let me give you a scenario.I was on a train with a friend and that friend of mine was sick that day.When we boarded the train,it was about 3/4 full and all the seats were taken.As the sides were taken up,we then moved to the middle cabin as I thought my friend could rest her back on the pole as we wait for any empty seat for her.Here comes the BEST part,a person left his seat to exit at a stop and that empty seat was right in front of us.Before I could helped her to the seat,suddenly out of nowhere a stupid freaking ignorant bastard selfish guy who is full of trash pushed his way through the crowd and even US to settle himself on the seat.He even dare to give a wry cheeky smile when he got the seat proclaiming that he is the winner of the "Who can seat first in the MRT contest".He is about my age for goodness sake.Asshole,cant you see that my friend is a girl?Where are your manners?What happen to ladies first?Why can't you be a gentleman?

Even a kid could tell that my friend is sick but not this guy.Instead of giving his seat away,he pretend to close his eyes and fall asleep but in truth he is checking out her.Looking up and down at her like some horny bastard.He even dare to gaze at her chest.You stupid shit.Go log on to some porn website and indulge yourself with it!!!I stared at him hard up until he realises that he should be playing his PSP rather than checking out her.I stared at him until it was our stop.Don't make me see you again you prick!!!

Fellow bloggers,if that seat is like a pot full of cash,it's a good excuse for the people to rush to get it.God damn,I would also rush for it.It could pay for my Crumpler bags and Pedro shoes but it's just a seat.You do have legs do you?I dont think by standing in the train could cripple you.I dont think by giving up your seat to those in need could cause any terminal disease to your leg.I dont think by not sitting on the MRT could weaken you to go to work or school or other activities.Don't be a typical KIASU citizen!!!

Be A Kind Soul!!!

Bimbos

2009-04-13T12:48:00.004+08:00

First of all,before I begin to blog,I reassure you that the contents on this post does not suggest sexism or any other form that may degrade the integrity of all women on this planet whether dead or alive.

So,have you ever heard or come across a word called"Bimbo"?My guess is that not only you have heard but also understood the definition of the word.My guess is that you also knew that word displays negativity.Am I right to say that?Correct me if Im wrong.

We have come across people that we termed as "Bimbos" and Im not sure about you but to me "Bimbos" are a disgrace.Beautiful women who look good,dress well but have a low horrible pathetic level of common sense.To put it bluntly,this bimbos have low levels of both Intelligence Quotient(IQ) and Emotional Intelligence Quotient(EQ).They are a beauty on the outside but a beast on the inside.The only thing they are good at will be bitching about some person or something and that's about it.Not only that,they have an atrocious command of the English Language.In all honesty,a primary 4 kid could speak better then them.An example instead of saying "Thank You",this bimbos will say "Thanks You".Some doesnt even know the difference between a chicken and a freaking fish!!!.How stupid can you be my dear?If there is any word worse than stupid,then it clearly defines a "Bimbo".

And guys stupidly chase for these girls because they are hot and sexy.I want to bed them,etc etc etc.These guys are just as stupid as the "Bimbos" themselves.Bimbos"will leech every single penny you have got and then throw you like some old Hermes bag when you have nothing to offer to them.Pardon me,"Bimbos" are good at sucking your money too in addition to bitching.Cheap creatures.Wake up assholes!!!"

So,if you're a "Bimbo",please change yourself to a normal woman,if you're planning to become a "Bimbo",don't be a stupid prick as you're the same as a prostitute if you do change to a "Bimbo" and if you're the normal woman,I congratulate you for being true to yourself and you're the type of women that men should be chasing.

Bimbos R Bitches!!!

Evolution Of Cocktails-Molecular Mixology

2009-04-11T01:24:00.011+08:00

An Interesting Find

2009-04-09T23:37:00.003+08:00

I came across an interesting when I was cleaning up my table a moment ago.It's something that I wrote a couple of months ago if my memory doesnt fails me and I've decided to post it for public viewing.So here it goes.By the way,do let me know of your thoughts about this find...

It was 2 AM

When you woke me up

Then we met and walked as far as we could go

Just to get away

We talked about our lives

Until the sun came out

And now I’m thinking about

How I wish I could go back

Just for one more day

One more day with you

Every moment I see your face

Every moment you look my way

It’s like it all falls into place

Every moment feels right

Ever since you walked away

It left my life in disarray

All I want is one more day

It’s all I need

Is one more day with you

We just kept walking along

Till we hit this place

There was nothing there at all

But that was all ok

We spent all our money

On stupid things

But if I look back now

I’d probably give it all away

Just for one more day

One more day with you

Now I’m sitting here

Like we used to do

I think about my life

And now there is nothing I won’t do

Just for one more day

One more day with you

You walked away

Just one more day

It’s all I need

Is one more day with you